| Not particularly handy? Does the very
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| | light from a small desktop lamp. Print
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| thought of household repairs send you
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| | two copies of twenty-five or more sets of
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| into a deep depression? You may suffer
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| | plans, ideas, sketches, drawings and
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| from MTDBS: Multi-Thumb Dysfunctional
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| | supply lists. Randomly circle and
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| Brain Syndrome. Researchers have just
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| | highlight various sections of the first
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| recently begun to chronicle this
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| | sets of plans, making builder-type notes
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| devastating disorder, and estimate it may
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| | on the pages: "Might need hammer," "Get
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| impact as many as ten million American
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| | glue" or "Screws - cool!" Wad up the
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| men. Scientists are quick to point out
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| | other sets of plans, fill the trashcan to
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| that MTDBS is not the same as being a
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| | overflowing and then scatter the extras
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| klutz. "A klutz is physically unskilled,
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| | on the desk and about the floor. When
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| lacking dexterity and nimbleness. A
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| | your wife brings in coffee she won't say
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| person afflicted with Multi-Thumb
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| | a word - it'll be obvious you're engaged
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| Dysfunctional Brain Syndrome has a brain
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| | in the serious business of weeding out
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| disorder that reduces their conceptual
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| | the scam artists who dare call themselves
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| skills to the level of a young baboon.
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| | craftsmen.4. Stumble into bed well past
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| It's a much more serious complication,"
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| | midnight, sighing deeply with the weight
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| says Dr. Gertrude Steiner, Director of
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| | of your responsibility. When your wife
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| Physical Capabilities Assessment
| |
| | asks if you've got it figured out, tell
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| Laboratories.Effective therapies are,
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| | her, "Sure. But, it's not going to be
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| sadly, still years away. Scientists must
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| | pretty. You and the kids better spend
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| first isolate the specific genes, neural
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| | the weekend at your moms. By Monday, it
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| pathways and synapses involved in the
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| | should be fine." A note of caution is in
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| disability and then devise strategies to
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| | order. Make sure the lights are out at
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| assist those who are afflicted. In the
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| | this stage of the operation. Failure to
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| meantime, men are not without hope. Dr.
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| | do so may jeopardize the entire process
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| Steiner recommends that men suffering
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| | as, under extreme duress, even the most
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| from MTDBS follow these clinical
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| | capable of men find their customarily
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| guidelines when confronted with a
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| | expressionless faces betraying them.5.
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| household repair:1. Nod and Frown. When
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| | Dressed in tattered jeans and an old tee
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| your wife recommends a home repair,
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| | shirt, wave a hammer at your wife as she
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| immediately begin to slowly nod your head
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| | backs out of the driveway. Close the
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| up and down. This conveys both
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| | door, secure the chain and set the
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| acceptance of her as a person and
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| | deadbolt. Tossing the hammer aside, move
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| expresses your thoughtful consideration
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| | to the garage and deactivate the
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| of the project she's suggested. Next,
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| | automatic door opener. OK, go ahead -
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| with no more than a two or three second
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| | smile as you saunter past the awaiting
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| delay, begin to frown. If you have the
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| | project, though still not quite sure what
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| facial dexterity, a frown that is more
| |
| | the finished product will look like.
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| pronounced on one side is superior, as it
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| | Detour through the kitchen, grabbing a
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| expresses a more thoughtful posture.
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| | cold one from the fridge as you pass, and
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| This frown conveys a sense of
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| | through open the back door. "Bernie! My
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| understanding that belies the underlying
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| | favorite carpenter." Point Bernie and
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| confusion that now grips your brain.2.
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| | his crew toward the project - then, step
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| Make an affirming, though simple,
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| | back and watch as the miracle of
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| statement of support, along the lines of,
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| | craftsmanship unfolds before your witless
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| "Yeah," or, "Gee, sounds good." This
| |
| | eyes.Is there a cure in the offing for
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| sets up the initial escape phase of the
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| | Multi-Thumb Dysfunctional Brain Syndrome?
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| project, distracting your wife with the
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| | Scientists are skeptical. They do,
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| quickness of your acquiescence. The next
| |
| | however, look to significantly improve
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| step is critical. Commit the Escape
| |
| | the functioning of sufferers. "Our
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| Phrase to memory: "Hmm, let me see what
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| | goal," says Dr. Steiner, "is to remove
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| I can dig up online." Don't alter this
| |
| | the stigma of shame from men who now
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| phrase. It has been scientifically
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| | function at the level of young baboons."
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| tested and proven. Next, take a deep
| |
| | She says early results are promising and,
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| breath, give a last thoughtful nod and,
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| | "If all goes well, we may one day be able
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| almost as an afterthought, softly state
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| | to offer these poor men the hope of
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| the Escape Phrase. Now, turn and head to
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| | functioning at the cognitive level of
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| your study, closing and locking the door
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| | moderately intelligent chimpanzees."
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| behind you.3. Research your heart out at
| |
| | Godspeed, Dr. Steiner - Godspeed.Tim
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| home improvement self-help websites. If
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| | Anderson is a freelance writer who has a
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| you become nauseated at their very sight,
| |
| | special interest in medical topics.
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| try doing your search utilizing only the
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| |
|
