Corporate Recreational Mating -- How Prevalent is It? --- A Path to Business Failure

"WOW DENISE, THOSE TIGHT JEANS SURE LOOKdifference today in the 21st century is that it is now
GOOD. DO YOU WANT TO SELL THEM?"recognized. It is now enforced and business
"NO, SWEETIE, BUT YOU CAN RENT THEM FOR Amanagers are forced to deal with it. Title VII of the
LITTLE WHILE."Starting this article with that actualCivil Rights Act of 1964 mandated that every
quote and giving other real life examples of the typeworking person has the right to work in an
of interaction that goes on in many offices creates aenvironment free from harassment on the basis of
self imposed need in my mind to assure you, thesex.Wow! What a profound statement. How does
reader, that we will be discussing Sexual Harassmentone determine the difference between unwanted
in the work place later in this article.Recreationalsexual advances and welcomed sexual advances that
mating in the work place has been going on sincelater become unwanted. The answer is, it really
organized business began. This term, Corporatedoesn't matter. The Equal Employment Opportunities
Recreational Mating as used in this article does notCommission (EEOC) defines sexual harassment as:
pertain to simple "office dating" that goes onUnwanted sexual advances, requests for sexual
between two single adults that happen to work atfavors and other verbal or physical conduct of a
the same place of business.What we are going tosexual nature when:- A term or condition of
discuss in this article is the type of recreationalemployment is explicitly or implicitly made regarding
mating that has an impact on the performance ofsubmission to a request for sexual favor.- Rejection
the business itself. Most of this type of recreationor refusal to submit sexual favor is used as a basis
takes place among members of upper managementfor an employment decision.- Such conduct has the
and a high percentage of it is illicit. In other words,purpose or effect to interfere with an individuals
one or both of the participants are married and notwork performance or creates a hostile, intimidating
to each other.environment.There are actually two kinds of sexual
This is a situation that exists in many corporations,harassment:1. Quid Pro Quo:Where employment
it's rarely reported, often ignored and in spite of thedecisions or expectations are based on an employees
participants attempts at secrecy, it is often a wellwillingness to grant or deny sexual favors. (hiring
traveled rumor, if not a fact.In their January 2003decisions, shift schedules, salary increases etc.)
issue, Stuff Magazine reported on a survey doneExample:- Sexual favors demanded in exchange for
with 3000 participants revealing what goes on withinpromotion- Terminating a subordinate because they
the office walls."THEY'VE TURNED BOARDROOMSended a relationship- Changing job performance
INTO BEDROOMS, GIVING A WHOLE NEW SPIN ONexpectations after subordinate refuses sexual
SPREADSHEETS."Before going on I should prefaceadvances.2. Hostile Environment:Where verbal or
my remarks by admitting that I am definitely a cardnonverbal behavior in the workplace Focuses on
carrying member of the "Baby Boomers". Being moresexuality of a person, Is unwanted, Is severe or
honest I have to admit that during the early years ofpervasive enough to affect the persons work
my career, the 70's, I undoubtedly could have beenenvironment.Example:- Off color jokes or teasing-
classified as a male chauvinistic pig. I could haveComments about body parts or sex life- Suggestive
qualified as poster child for the official "Malepictures or calendars or cartoons- Suggestive e-mails
Chauvinistic Pig" movement. However, experience hasor forwarded jokes and pictures.- Leering or staring-
taught me a very important lesson regardingRepeated requests for dates after being told no-
leadership and it's personal relationship withExcessive attention in the form of love letters,
employeesI now have a much greater appreciationtelephone calls or gifts- Touching-brushing against,
for the abilities, the intelligence, and the value ofpats, hugs, shoulder rubs or pinches- Assault or
female employees. Today, I firmly believe women inrapeThe basis or foundation to sexual harassment is
the workplace are the most under utilized asset thisdefined as being unwelcome, unwanted or unsolicited
country has. We have made a lot of progress in theconduct that is imposed on a person who regards
last two decades but we have a long way tosuch conduct as offensive. That is sexual harassment.
go."STUFF" magazine survey of 3000 participantsWhen a person communicates that the conduct is
revealed that 51% confessed to office affairs. Outunwelcome then it becomes illegal to repeat it. This is
of them, 71% slept with one to three partners othertrue even if the conduct is disguised as innuendos or
than their spouse or significant other. Sixty percentsubtle inferences, it is unlawful.Sexual harassment is
admitted to actually having sex in the office with thenot an expression of sexual desire. It is plainly an
following locations noted.- Bathroom ..................... 24%-inappropriate use of power. Subtle infringements are
Reception Area ............... 6%- Conference Tablethe most common and the most difficult to detect
............22%- Boss's Desk ..................20%- Photo Copier ..................and prove. Yet, they are equally damaging and just
6%- Parking Lot.....................15%Other magazines haveas illegal as an open forward sexual advance.Sexual
reported varying degrees of the same survey. Oneharassment that occurs during the corporate mating
well read woman's magazine reported 53% of theprocess is a form of indirect harassment. If an equally
males surveyed admitted to extra marital affairsqualified person is passed over for promotion
while 23% of the women surveyed admitted thebecause the boss is sleeping with the person he
same. The office is the most likely place to meetpromotes then that person has been illegally
someone since you spend more than 50% of yourdiscriminated against due to indirect sexual
waking hours there. That statistic is mind boggling. Itharassment. This situation occurs quite frequently but
would suggest that the next time you attend ais rarely reported. Unchecked sexual harassment can
business meeting and look around the room, chancesalso have other subtle consequences. People
are that more than half but less than 75% of thewitnessing the harassment may feel the same loss or
mixed crowd is having or has had an extra maritaldamage. Harassment that is ignored or denied can
affair...This sounds like a chauvinistic sexistcause overall morale to deteriorate. Productivity will
commentary. It probably is although it's not meant tosuffer and expose the organization to potential
be. The comments and actual quotes are not meantlitigation.EEOC GuidelinesThe Federal Equal
to give the impression that all women in the workEmployment Opportunities Commission has issued
force are having sex with their co-workers orguidelines on sexual harassment under Title VII of
bosses. It is not meant to imply that most womenthe 1964 Civil Rights Act. The guidelines, Section
are under the influence of the "Cleopatra Inheritance"1604.11 (29 cfr Article XIV, part 1604) are listed
and use their Feminine Qualities like the individual inbelow.
the following quote."I KNOW HOW TO USE ALL MYSection A:Harassment on the basis of sex is a
ASSETS," SHE REPLIED AS SHE PLACED HERviolation of sc. 703 of Title VII. Unwelcome sexual
HANDS STRATEGICALLY ON HER CHEST.Let meadvances, requests for sexual favors, and other
state that it is an uncontested fact that the majorityverbal or physical conduct of a sexual nature
of females work very hard in the office and areconstitutes sexual harassment(1) submission to such
dedicated wives. They keep their nose to the grindconduct is made either explicitly or implicitly a term or
stone and they too are also disgusted by thecondition of an individuals employment, (2) submission
minority of women that use their sexual prowess totoo or rejection of such conduct by an individual is
advance their careers."Cleopatra Inheritance"Theused as the basis for employment decisions affecting
"Cleopatra Inheritance" is a force so powerful that itsuch individual, or (3) such conduct has the purpose
can topple nations. Look at the publicity our formeror effect of unreasonably interfering with an
president Bill Clinton received regarding hisindividuals work performance or creating an
relationships with a number of women. Not everyintimidating, hostile, or offensive working
woman is subject to be the recipient of thisenvironment.Section B:In determining whether alleged
phenomenon. And not every woman that does inheritconduct constitutes sexual harassment, the
this power recognize it. Most of those that doCommission will look at the record as a whole and at
recognize it don't abuse it. But there is a minority ofthe totality of circumstances, such as the nature of
women that recognize this power they have overthe sexual advances, and the context in which the
men at a very early age and begin using it. Thisalleged incidents occurred. The determination of the
power can bring the strongest man to his knees, filllegality of a particular action will be made from the
his eyes with tears and make him do just aboutfacts, on a case by case basis.Section C:Applying
anything she wishes. There are a few women whogeneral Title VII principles, an employer, employment
have perfected this power. They have it underagency joint apprenticeship committee or labor
control and use it to advance their careers.Womenorganization (herein collectively referred to as
utilizing the "Cleopatra Inheritance" are very clever.employer) is responsible for its acts and those of its
They are not the "Sexy Dumb Blondes" characterizedagents and supervisory personnel with respect to
by the brunt of many of man's chauvinisticsexual harassment, regardless of whether the
jokes.Women who use their inheritance to advanceemployer knew or should have known of their
their careers focus clearly on their objectives. Theyoccurrence. The Commission will examine the
are blondes, brunettes, red heads and every othercircumstance of the particular employment
hair style imaginable. In other words, it has nothing torelationship and the job functions performed by the
do with their hair coloring. They know what theyindividual in determining whether an individual acts in
want and they go after it. Men are weak in theireither a supervisory or agency capacity.Section
defense when faced with this inheritance. Its powerD:With respect to conduct between fellow
is overwhelming and consuming. Fortunately, womenemployees, an employer is responsible for acts of
who use this power are in the minority, a muchsexual harassment in the workplace where the
smaller number than their chauvinistic counterparts ofemployer, its agents or supervisory personnel know
the male population in the work place."Two yearsor should have known of the conduct, unless it can
prior to becoming CFO she was a payroll clerk in theshow that it took immediate and appropriate
accounting department. She had no degree and acorrective action.Section E:An employer may also be
limited knowledge of accounting. Today she is CFOresponsible for the acts of non employees, with
of a $500 million dollar company making a six-figurerespect to sexual harassment of employees in the
income."The success of this individual can't be tracedworkplace, if the employer knows or should have
to her academic credentials, she has none. It can't beknown of the conduct and fails to take immediate
traced to her experience, she was a payroll clerk. Butand appropriate corrective action. In reviewing these
it can be traced to her personal relationship with thecases, the Commission will consider the extent of the
president and her knowledge, control and use of theemployers control and any other legal responsibility
"Cleopatra Inheritance" factor.Control is a very criticalwhich the employer may have with respect to the
factor. Love is generally not an acceptable alternative.conduct of such non employee.Section F:Prevention is
Love complicates things and is rarely involved in thisthe best tool for the elimination of sexual
career enhancing experience. When the male does fallharassment. An employer should take all steps
victim to this process, falls in love and may evennecessary to prevent sexual harassment from
want to leave his wife, the female panics. Loveoccurring, such as affirmatively raising the subject,
challenges her control of the situation. This is a typicalexpressing strong disapproval, developing appropriate
response to the early warning signs from the victimsanctions, informing employees of their right to raise
that thoughts of love have entered his psychic.and how to raise the issue of harassment under Title
Please forgive me if it sounds like I am trying toVII and developing methods to sensitize all
make the man the victim here. There are many moreconcerned.Section G:Other related practices, where
incidents where the male utilizes the power of hisemployment opportunities or benefits are granted
position to influence and intimidate the female to getbecause of an individuals submission to the employers
what he wants as well. That's called sexualsexual advances or requests for sexual favors, the
harassment which we will discuss in detail in thisemployer may be held liable for unlawful sex
article.The Internet provides a lot of statistics anddiscrimination against other persons who were
information regarding corporate recreational mating.qualified for but denied that employment opportunity
Much of this insight is provided by the victims whoor benefit.Handling ComplaintsHandling complaints is
are generally hurt in the process, the othernot easy. Knowing what to say and what to do isn't
spouse.**********taught in Management 101. Sexual harassment isn't
"Two months ago I found out that my husband hadyour ordinary everyday problem. The first thing you
an affair with a secretary in his office. She gotmust do is listen intently. Assure them that you are
pregnant and had my husband's child who is now twotaking them seriously because it is a serious matter.
years old. I can't forgive or forget this horrible thing.Express no opinion, just listen and take notes. Do not
We have been married twenty years. He knew frombe biased. Encourage them to give specific details. It
the beginning that the child was his and he never toldis very important that you ask them specifically how
me. His girlfriend called me and told me all about it. Ithey reacted, communicated the fact that this action
can't go on in this marriage because I don't trustwas unacceptable.The next step is to interview the
him."**********alleged offender. He or she has the right to hear and
"I'm twenty eight years old. My wife and I haverespond to the accusations. Be sure to conduct the
been married for almost six years. We are bothinterview in the same, straightforward, unbiased
Christians. We don't have children. I came home frommanner you did when you talked to the person who
work one day to find a message that said, "I havefiled the complaint. If no resolution or conclusion is
to go away and think." I knew what was going on. Itmade and the offender denies the behavior or has a
was the guy from her work. She was having anvariation of the story, you will need to go to the
affair. I caught them in the parking lot at worknext step.Inform your corporate attorney and seek
kissing. She claimed it was a thank you kiss for ahis advice. With your attorney's approval, initiate an
favor he had done. I knew that was crap. I actuallyinvestigation and be prepared to monitor the
tried to be friends with him. Just before she left toworkplace to ensure that the harassment stops. It's
be with him, we all spent the weekend togetheryour responsibility to protect the person who filed
boating. What a fool I was. She's with himthe complaint. You may want to take steps to keep
now."Casual encounters that sprout into full blownthe two parties involved apart temporarily by
office romances are not uncommon given thereassigning one or the other until the matter is
amount of time we spend at work. Offices provide aresolved.As you conduct the investigation, be as
safe haven and many of the necessary componentsdiscreet as possible; only interview individuals who
for a connection, even an illicit one. Many employersmay have relevant information. Enlist any organization
fear that workplace romances cut productivity, resultresources that may help or support your
in office jealousies and unnecessary distractions. But,investigation; review the appropriate records before
what do you do if it's the boss or other executiveyou actually interview any employees about the
management personnel involved in this type of officeincident. You may find valuable information to direct
affairs?There's not much you can do if you want tothe investigation, or even bring the investigation to a
remain employed. Executives that have affairs withconclusion. The final step in the investigative process
married colleagues display moronic behavior. It doesis to interview anyone who may have information or
affect their work and no matter how secretive theyinsights on what took place.If you conduct a
think they are, they will eventually be exposed.thorough investigation and still don't have enough
These executives become known as players, bottomfacts to draw a conclusion, you may find it
feeders with no morals. It's a combination of theappropriate to try bringing the two parties together
power of the Cleopatra Inheritance Syndrome andto determine what really happened. This option should
their own self indulgent egos that controls theseonly be arranged if both parties agree to meet. This
individuals. It may also be their power and initiativetype of meeting can be very delicate and should be
alone taking advantage of younger femaleapproached with a great deal of thought and
employees that need their job desperately.Thingsplanning.Once you have gathered and analyzed all the
that often occur without the knowledge of theinformation and concluded that the incident did, in
participants include them becoming the brunt of manyfact, occur, consult your organization's policy, review
office jokes and rumors. They may become cartoonthe case with your legal council and take disciplinary
characters and laughed at in the lunch room. Theiraction. Be prepared to fully explain the results of your
e-mails, cell phones and other means ofinvestigation and the action that will be taken. Explain
communication may one day prove to be thereto the harasser that he or she has the right to
down fall no matter how careful they think theyappeal the decision to a higher level. Lead Wolf
have been. Sometimes conflicts become public."Areleaders recognize the devastating effect that
those reports ready Jennifer?" "No, James, I wascorporate recreational mating can have on the
with you all night trying out most of the Kama Sutraperformance of the business. More importantly, they
positions."Public displays of bickering and argumentsrecognize the devastating effect it can have.Dr. Rick
between these individuals regardless of their rank inJohnson () is the founder of CEO Strategist LLC. an
the hierarchy is common place. This type of publicexperienced based firm specializing in leadership for
arguing heightens the sensitivity of everyone in thewholesale distribution. CEO Strategist LLC. works in an
office to what may or may not be going on. It bringsadvisory capacity with company executives in board
to the forefront inequities in the power structure.representation, executive coaching, team coaching
People resent the attention, the special treatmentand education and training to make the changes
and the fact that she or he can get away withnecessary to create or maintain competitive
murder while everyone else tows the line. Agreementadvantage. You can contact them by calling
between the two on any topic carries no validity.352-750-0868, or visit for more information.Rick
The conclusion is that they are a couple so theyreceived an MBA from Keller Graduate School in
have no reason not to agree. Security leaks are theChicago, Illinois and a Bachelor's degree in Operations
most risk to the company in these situations. It'sManagement from Capital University, Columbus Ohio.
amazing what everyone reveals beneath the sheets.Rick recently completed his dissertation on Strategic
There is no confidentiality confinement in an illicitLeadership and received his Ph.D. He's also a published
relationship between boss and employee. That bringsbook author with four titles to his credit: "The Toolkit
us to the concluding topic for this article.SEXUALfor Improved Business Performance in Distribution,"
HARRASSMENTWith all this office romance ,the NWFA & NAFCD "Roadmap", Lone Wolf-Lead
corporate mating and illicit relationships occurring,Wolf-The Evolution of Sales" and a fiction novel
what constitutes sexual harassment? Sexual"Shattered Innocence.
harassment has existed since business began. The