| There's a Native American belief that before we are | | | | alcoholic? Was your mom the queen of guilt trips? |
| born, we choose our parents. It actually ties in pretty | | | | Was your dad the overachiever who pressured you |
| nicely with the reincarnation idea that we prearrange | | | | to carry on his legacy? Was your mother a gold |
| certain circumstances before each life so as to learn | | | | digger hopping from one wealthy man to the next, |
| different lessons. Either way, our parents teach us so | | | | never really paying attention to you? Were your |
| much more than they ever mean to. Through their | | | | folks ignorant and uneducated, not having a clue that |
| choices, circumstances, faults, talents and ability to | | | | you were a bored genius with nobody to talk to? Did |
| show their love and support, they mold us. If life is a | | | | they make choices constantly based on themselves |
| rat race, then our folks determine what we come | | | | instead of their children? Were they artists who got |
| out of the starting blocks with.The gifts they give us | | | | so carried away in the creative process that they'd |
| are so much more than biological. Yeah, there's the | | | | forget you existed at times? Whatever the story, |
| basics of whether or not you go through life as | | | | you get the idea. You may or may not love your |
| pretty, ugly, or just sort of plain looking. I don't have | | | | folks, but you know that if you had it to do over |
| to tell you that physical looks, athletic abilities, and | | | | again you certainly wouldn't have picked those two |
| general health definitely effect how we go through | | | | people to be in charge of your early years. The last |
| life. Our parents can decide whether or not we're | | | | thing you want to hear is that you might have |
| deformed or mentally challenged by deciding to | | | | chosen that upbringing for yourself.Shift gears with |
| create alcohol syndrome or drug addicted babies. And | | | | me here, for just a minute. Look into yourself and tell |
| they genetically predispose us to various future | | | | me what you are most proud of. Is it your tenacity? |
| challenges, like breast cancer or heart disease. Other | | | | Your ability to pick yourself up and carry on no |
| than by taking care of our bodies with proper rest | | | | matter what? Your moxie? Your incredible ability to |
| and nutrition while growing up, there isn't a whole lot | | | | read other people and know just how to reach out |
| that they can do about most of the physical | | | | and help them? Your artistic ability to create music |
| characteristics they pass along to us.Most of us are | | | | that sings to the soul of the lonely and uplift them |
| average, that's what average means. So most of us | | | | for just a minute? Your incredible work ethic? Your |
| inherit average bodies with average talents and | | | | own ability to really be present and in the moment |
| average health. So what does it matter who we | | | | with your own kids? Sit for a moment and look at |
| choose as our parents? For proof, just look at the | | | | the incredible strength and amazing traits that you |
| people who were raised by adopted parents or | | | | created for yourself despite your parents.If I had |
| those who were raised in blended step-families. Their | | | | been the spoiled pampered princess I wanted to be, |
| biology isn't really what comes to mind when we look | | | | I would never be able to write for you today. It's |
| at the gifts and challenges they received from their | | | | because I come from a broken home that I know |
| 'folks.'Our parents - whether biological, adopted, or | | | | how important true loving connection is regardless of |
| stepparents - determined what our environment | | | | whether the original two parents are the ones raising |
| would be while growing up. They chose our financial | | | | you or not. It's because I was under the impression |
| health, spiritual health, educational health, social health, | | | | that I was abandoned that I found out how to be |
| and mental health. They may have consciously sat | | | | strong and independent and no longer clingy and |
| down and made the decisions and acted on them, or | | | | needy. I wouldn't have the pride and self assurance |
| they may have paid no attention whatsoever to how | | | | that I can overcome anything life throws at me if I |
| those things would turn out. Many parents are | | | | had always had the safety net of family to fall back |
| themselves uneducated or unhealthy in some of | | | | on. Look into your own life. Would you be the |
| these areas and don't even know that there were | | | | amazing person you are today if you had been raised |
| other choices to be made. It's not always intentional, | | | | with a silver spoon and ideal parents?Initially when we |
| what they chose. Either way, they made choices | | | | begin our healing process, we can identify what |
| that determined all of those things for us.It's really | | | | particular flavor of 'screwed up' we are and who's |
| easy if we had blessed childhoods to give thanks to | | | | fault it is that we turned out that way. Continuing on |
| our parents for making wonderful choices on our | | | | the path of healing, we get to a place where we can |
| behalf. If we believe in that theory that we choose | | | | forgive those who helped create the mess that we |
| our parents before birth, then we can nod and say, | | | | became. Finally, we come to realize what a blessing it |
| "Yep, I certainly did pick some winners! Sure am glad | | | | was that we got to go through that particular |
| I picked those two as my parents. They supported | | | | journey and to learn those particular lessons and to |
| me in everything I ever wanted to do and paid for | | | | gain those particular tools and gifts as a result. Then |
| my music lessons and never stopped loving me no | | | | we can be grateful that we chose the parents we |
| matter what!"But what if you were one of those | | | | did. |
| kids whose childhood sucked? Was your dad an | | | | |